More Than You Know
by Dracossack
Summary: She always knew how she felt. How could she not? It's too bad that no one else ever did... Bechloe.


**More Than You Know**

 _"The day you died, my tears ran dry._

 _I feel you, I hear you echo in my soul._

 _I failed you, I miss you so._

 _The day you died echoes in my soul."_

Aubrey's jaw clenched as she turned the key, feeling the bolt slide back as she unlocked the apartment door. As her hand wrapped around the door knob, she closed her eyes and released a deep breath, preparing herself. This tradition, if one could call it that, became more taxing every year, and she didn't even have the worst of it.

At least, that's what she told herself.

She pushed the door open and stepped through, lingering for a moment just on the other side as she looked around. The apartment was pristine, as it often was, but the air was heavy; with what, Aubrey couldn't say. Maybe it was just in her head, but on this day, it just did not feel like the home of Chloe Beale.

It was a shame, really.

Aubrey didn't call out Chloe's name as she entered; she already knew where she would be. She walked across the small apartment and into the bedroom.

 _"Do you always get flustered so easily?"_

 _Aubrey looked up to meet Beca's teasing smirk with a scowl._

 _"I have no idea what you're making reference to," Aubrey replied curtly before continuing to work on the arrangement laid on the desk in front of her, though, realistically, she was just making random scribbles on the sheet music at this point._

 _"Oh my God, who talks like that?" Beca said with a scoff. "Seriously, Posen, you need to relax..." As she let the final world roll thickly off her lips, placing a not so subtle emphasis on it, Beca had moved over to stand behind Aubrey and placed her hands on her shoulders._

 _"Beca, what are you- oooooh," Aubrey's moan was downright embarrassing as she rolled her head back, but she couldn't even think about how mortifying that would later be with the feeling of Beca's hands working into her shoulders and neck providing such a heavenly distraction._

 _"Like I said, Posen, you really need to chill out," Beca said, still smirking as she massaged Aubrey's shoulders. "All of this pressure you're putting on yourself is going to kill you one day."_

 _"I'm pretty sure, if anything, it's you that will be the death of me," Aubrey thought. It was a sentiment that she, at this point, most certainly could not vocalize, no matter how deeply she felt it. Instead, she simply said, "Perhaps..."_

 _"What is this?" Beca gasped dramatically, ceasing her ministrations and placing a hand over her heart in faux shock. "Is Aubrey Posen actually agreeing with me?"_

 _"She won't be if you don't immediately get your hands back on her shoulders," Aubrey growled. Beca chuckled as she complied._

 _"Bossy, much?"_

 _"Well, you know me..."_

"Bree?" Chloe croaked. Aubrey sighed as she looked down at the familiar sight of Chloe curled up into a pitiful ball on the bed, clutching a framed picture as though her very life depended on it. Her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks, puffy, her hair, greasy and messy. Aubrey sat down and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey there, Chlo'," she said gently. "It's almost dinner time, sweetie. Let's get you up." Chloe nodded as Aubrey helped her sit up, still holding the picture frame to her chest. Aubrey wrapped and arm around Chloe's shoulder as she stood up and guided her to the bathroom. "Have you had anything to eat yet today?" Chloe shook her head. Aubrey sighed again, though it was the same answer she received every year. Sometimes, she wondered why she even asked. "Ok, well, why don't you get in the shower. I'll hold on to that, okay?"

"No," Chloe whispered as Aubrey attempted to reach for the picture frame which Chloe still held tightly to her chest.

"Sweetie, you can't get in the shower with it, you'll ruin it. Why don't you set it here on the counter? That way you can still see it." Chloe nodded as tears began to slowly trickle down her face, the sight of which would have been enough to break Aubrey's heart, if there were but any pieces of it left to break. She took the picture from Chloe as she turned around and began to undress, setting it softly on the counter next to the sink, her face blank as she looked at the occupant of the picture.

 _"What?" Aubrey asked tersely, eyeing Chloe suspiciously as she practically bounced up and down in her seat on the couch._

 _"Nothing, I'm just really excited," Chloe responded. "I can't believe Beca finally asked me out!"_

 _"Is it really so hard to believe?" Aubrey replied, struggling to keep her voice even. "You're Chloe Beale. Everyone loves you. Even Beca 'I'm-too-cool-for-feelings-and-shit' Mitchell."_

 _"Aww, that's so sweet," Chloe chirped. Aubrey merely rolled her eyes, as if Chloe was the one who needed to be comforted here._

 _At that moment, they heard a knocking on the door of their shared apartment, and Chloe instantly jumped up from her seat and rushed to answer it. Aubrey watched silently as Chloe greeted Beca jubilantly before pulling her into the apartment, asking her to wait while Chloe retrieved something from her room before they left on their date, which left Beca standing in the living room, smirking, infuriatingly, Aubrey thought, down at her._

 _"Whatcha working on there, Posen?" Beca asked as she peered over the various papers and books spread across the table at which Aubrey was seated._

 _"Nothing you'd have any interest in," Aubrey muttered. Beca's eyebrows rose challengingly._

 _"Try me," she said._

 _"Look, Beca," Aubrey replied as she stood up, ignoring Beca's request. "We've known each other for a while now, so I know I can trust you. But, I still have to warn you that Chloe is my best friend, and if you hurt her, it won't just be your vocal chords that are in danger of being forcibly removed."_

 _"Woah, woah, Posen, chill. I wouldn't dream of hurting her," Beca replied, holding up her arms defensively. "I... I really, really like her."_

 _"I know, but I have to say it anyway." Beca grinned._

 _"She's lucky to have a friend like you," she said._

 _"I know," was all Aubrey said before returning to her work. Beca looked curiously at her but her thoughts were drawn elsewhere by Chloe's return. Aubrey stared at the papers before her, unable to look as the two girls walked giggling with excitement out of the apartment. As soon as the door closed, Aubrey left her work and shut herself in her room, a solitary tear finding it's way down her cheek as she collapsed on to her bed._

"I miss her," Chloe said quietly as she sat at the table, still staring at the framed picture of Beca that she refused to relinquish. "I miss her so much, Bree."

"I know, Chloe," Aubrey replied as she gathered up the dishes. After having showered, Chloe had come to the kitchen to find the meal that Aubrey cooked her every year on this day. It wasn't anything special; Aubrey never considered herself a particularly talented chef. That had actually been one of Beca's lesser known talents. She smiled at that particular memory. "I miss her too..."

"You don't act like it," Chloe whispered.

"What?" Aubrey asked.

"I mean, I've never seen you show any emotion at all when it comes to Beca since... Since..." Chloe choked back a sob, unable to finish her sentence. Aubrey stared pointedly at Chloe, unable to comprehend her words even as she knew they were true.

 _"Chloe," Aubrey said frantically as tears ran down her face, her hand trembling as it held the phone to her ear._

 _"What? Aubrey, what's wrong?" Chloe asked, fear evident in her voice. She'd never heard Aubrey like this._

 _"It's Beca, she..." Aubrey said._

 _"What?! What happened?!" Chloe shrieked into the phone._

 _"There was a fire at your apartment building," Aubrey said. "Beca..."_

 _"Is she okay?!"_

 _"Chloe... She stayed to try and help one of your neighbors get out since she has bad knees and can't walk well and..."_

 _"And...?"_

 _"A burning beam fell just as they were about to get out, and Beca covered your neighbor so she wouldn't get hurt."_

 _"Oh my God..."_

 _"Chloe, it's bad. You need to get down here, now."_

 _"Aubrey, I'm in New York!"_

 _"I know, Chloe, but you have to try. She's in surgery right now."_

 _"Okay, okay, I'll be there as soon as I can."_

 _"Good," Aubrey whispered as Chloe hung up the phone._

 _Two hours later, the doctor came out and told Aubrey that they were finished._

 _"How is she? Will she make it?" Aubrey asked._

 _"I can't say for certain, but we've done all we can," the doctor responded._

 _"Can I see her?" The mixture of hope and fear in Aubrey's voice was obvious, a tone all too familiar to the doctor._

 _"Of course," he said with a nod._

 _When Aubrey entered Beca's room, she nearly broke down again at the sight before her._

 _Beca's entire body was covered in burns, most of which were visible through the bandaging. Her breathing was shallow, and there were all manner of tubes connected to her. The small, steady beeping of the heart rate monitor was the only comfort one could find._

 _And yet, Beca still found the energy to give Aubrey that goddamned smirk._

 _That smirk that had made her fall so hopelessly, so helplessly, so hilariously in love with Beca, only to have to watch her fall in love with her best friend._

 _"Hey there, Posen," Beca said weakly._

 _"Beca..." Aubrey said, her voice straining._

 _"I got pretty messed up, huh?" Beca joked. Aubrey felt a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. Only Beca could be so cavalier in this situation._

 _"A bit," Aubrey said, which drew a chuckle from Beca. Unfortunately, that quickly turned into a violent coughing fit, which had Aubrey rushing to her side. "Hey, hey, hey, hey, take it easy, Beca. Just try to relax."_

 _"That's my line, Posen," Beca said._

 _"Yea, it is, isn't?"_

 _"Hey, Aubrey?" Beca asked, her voice somehow even smaller._

 _"Yes?"_

 _"Where's Chloe?" Aubrey could see the tears beginning to run down Beca's face, and it was all she could do not to let her own continue to fall._

 _"She's on her way. She's on a plane headed here right now."_

 _"Okay... Okay..." Beca said. Aubrey's gaze moved quickly over to the heart monitor which was beginning to beep slower and slower. "Good. I want to see her... I miss her."_

 _"Beca..." Aubrey said, her own tears stinging at her eyes._

 _"Hey, Aubrey..."_

 _"Yea?"_

 _"If I don't make it-"_

 _"Beca, you can't say things like that!" Aubrey yelled. "You're going to be fine! You're going to get better and Chloe will be here and-"_

 _"Aubrey..." Beca whispered, effectively silencing her. Aubrey swallowed nervously. The beeping was drawing incredibly slow. "Take care of Chloe. And tell her that... That I..."_

 _But at that very moment, the monitor flat lined._

"I don't know, Chloe," Aubrey lied.

"Did you really not care about her at all?" Chloe's words hit Aubrey like a slap in the face, but she wouldn't lash out at Chloe. Even were she not too emotionally exhausted to do so, she knew better.

"I did care..." Aubrey whispered as she turned away from Chloe. "More than either of you will ever know..."


End file.
